Last year, we ran an expose on Santa’s true identity as a SysAdmin. This year, we’ve uncovered more damning evidence of his double life under the username ‘Server Gauze’.
See our original checklist, or keep reading to get the scoop.
1. Santa has everyone in the world’s names and access permissions
You’d need a massive server to keep all that information. And where better to cool it than beneath the North Pole?
2. Santa is constantly receiving request tickets
Some of these requests are quite out there. All of them involve leaving his comfy spot and going off-site.
3. He’s highly involved in the Cloud
And considering he’s been involved with it since at least the 18th century, he’s quite the early adopter.
4. He loves presents when he shows up on site
Appreciation is always welcome, even if you’re going to do the job anyway.
5. People can’t tell him apart from other Santas – they just want the job done
Cry knowingly if you’ve been looked at like your name isn’t important, but your ability to deliver is.
6. He’s overworked
But people think he only leaps to action on that one day of the year, and assume the rest is just sitting around.
7. Nobody knows who Santa answers to
He seems to sit outside of the established power structure, coming and going with mysterious impunity.
8. He brings new toys to people
Which, in the end, is what they get the most excited about.
9. When asked how he does things, you get answers that are probably not true
Like ‘I have toys because little elves made it for me’. Translation: ‘Stop asking for answers you’re not going to understand anyway.’
10. Has a naughty/nice list from watching what you search on Google
Just like your SysAdmin… HE KNOWS. (Or at least lets you think he’s omnipotent)
Conclusion: Santa is a SysAdmin
A miraculous super-being who flies in and out, making everyone happier in the process. What more do you need?
